Chapter Next

Okay, I've been in kind of a rut lately. I just started a new job that, while very enjoyable, can at times be demanding. This job really gets my creative juices flowing and I'm trusted with lots of responsibilities and am exposed to new and interesting experiences. What more could I ask for? At this moment there is a drawing that I want to do but can't find the energy or the desire to do it. Sadly, I've given myself a deadline and that deadline is Valentine's Day.

While I've been wanting to make this drawing for so long now I've been unintentionally putting my creative energies toward other projects that have also been inspired by my new job. This has forced me out of my comfort zone and enabled me to begin exploring other outlets of artistic expression (they also come with some pretty interesting stories). Though drawing is first and foremost my favorite medium, art translates to everything and everyone.

Alice Design

I think this would be a good time to mention that I got a new job as the personal assistant of a fashion designer/theater directer and I've been having a ball so far. I started at the end of January and I've been learning things that I didn't know I wanted to learn more about. I've been incredibly lucky to have wonderful and creative employer that are kind but also take no shit.

This design is for an Alice in Wonderland fashion show that my new boss, Judy, has been working on. It's for promotions and will probably be on the postcards/invitations to the show. I'll probably alter it and may even make different versions of it, design is a problem solving process and it's always best to have a lot to choose from.

I know this one looks familiar (ie: Cute Little Fuckers). That's because this was going to be the third pic in that series, and when I flipped open my sketch book with no inspiration this was there. It just kind of worked. Like I said I may post more, I have one maybe two alternate ideas for this design.

Cute Little Fuckers

As those who have spoken to me in casual conversation can attest, I swear a lot. However, I clean it up considerably when I'm around children, at work and generally when I'm speaking to people that I'm not very well acquainted with. But I must give credit where credit is due, these were inspired by the fashions at Locher's something about classic vintage, adorable animals and the F bomb is somehow refreshing to me. As always, you are free to disagree. I'm not sure about the coloring, whether I should use the ink or the gouache, and I don't know what the colors will be either. There definitely will be color...it will just take a while to make some decisions about it. There may also be a third one in the works, and just like these ones I'll probably upload it colorless until I make a decisions. Everything is pretty cute about these ones, I wanted to keep it cute and wholesome to contrast with the slight fowl language.

Alice and The Queen of Hearts

First of, it has to be noted that I LOVE both women's shoes. I'm not a shoe girl, but the shoes ended up being very important as accessories. They were inspired by Miu Miu's.

When Alice confronts the Queen of Hearts (not to be confused with the Red Queen) they played a game of crochet with flamingos for mallets and hedgehogs for balls. Since I'm sort of updating the story and fitting it to match my life I changed it to poker and had the flamingo and hedgehog looking on.

I was really excited to do this for the fashion element, I couldn't wait to dress the queen and she looks like a Lady Gaga, Santa Clause, Kabuki theater actor... needless to say, I'm satisfied. Her shoes, hair and make up were the most fun.

I wanted Alice to contrast the queen but still be in sync with her. I liked the idea that Alice got dressed up for her encounter with the queen and that she combined innocence with simplicity, class and maturity but added a bit of Wonderland accents.

I think before I did this one I mentioned that this one would be the last, but now I'm pretty confident that isn't true. With all the great imagery in it how could I let go of such a project.

Take With You Your Sweet Nostalgia (SOLD)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Let's hope that this one is even more productive and successful then the last. This was something in line with the Life Savings one and the idea of using more objects and less people to represent ideas. I don't know if it could be considered a burden or not to carry around all the things that make you long for times of the past. Whenever I've felt nostalgic it's always been a very filling and uplifting feeling, but when people describe nostalgia they make it sound sort of pathetic. To me, nostalgia is like the wind; it just breezes in and out without warning and touches you and then leaves almost without a trace. It's a feeling that I want to hold on to but never can, and maybe that's for the best. This is sort of perfect for the first drawing of the New Year.

I was really excited when I started it but then I lagged in the finishing of it. The past two days I got a surge and just kind of got it over with, I have a few drawings in my sketch book that need to be finished and another that I'm excited to start. I just have to remember not to rush these things, everything will get done in due time.

Anubis: God of the Underworld

I had so much fun drawing this. This is the best male body I've ever drawn, and his face is absolutely adorable. The idea for this just came to me out of no where, I knew I wanted to draw a picture of Anubis as a cute pet, but when I looked around for picture of him just about all of them portrayed him with the body of well... a God. There must be a weight room in the underworld or something. I tried to balance the cute/sexy ratio; the muscles and the ankh tattoo help.

I used my dog as a model for his face (I basically spent that day putting things in his mouth and drawing him). A lot of the time I look at photos from books and the internet as references, but when I can I try to get things from real life. Whereas a photo of a dog produces only one angle a real dog gives you every angel. My favorite part of this drawing is his face, dogs actually make that face when they're trying to be cute and it always works. The big brown eyes make his cuteness more accessible, and the mummy chew toy is funny and symbolic. And speaking of symbols, the bowl actually says "Anubis" in hieroglyphics.

The other thing I noticed about most of these pictures is that they portrayed Anubis as this evil, violent, bloodthirsty creature. That's the exact opposite of what he's suppose to be. The ancient Egyptians didn't have the fear of death that European and European based cultures have. Death to them is a transcendence from one aspect of life to another, and Anubis is the one who guides you as you go on that journey; he is also the protector of the souls of the dead on said journey. He was also sort of a patron saint of mummification.

So, just so we're clear; Anubis is NOT the same as the Grim Reaper. They have the same job, but Anubis does not share the same cultural qualities as the Grim Reaper. He is also not the Devil.

Life Savings

Now, I don't have a lot of money, but what I do have I save; every penny. People call me cheap, but when you have nothing to spend common sense would tell you that's smart. To me, saving money means saving myself from stressing out over not having enough, and I don't need very much to begin with. This drawing, however, isn't just about saving money. It's about saving dreams, saving happiness, saving memories, saving skills, saving life lessons and saving motivation to do all the things you want to do. Life and the positive progression of it is more than just the accumulation of funds, it's about the accumulation of knowledge and experiences. Everyday should add to the journey of being the best that you can be, and you should spend your entire life trying to be the best you can be.

I'm proud of this. Not just because of what it means to me, but because it's the first time in ages that I haven't used an image of a person as a symbol. We don't have to worry about things like race, gender, sexuality or fashion sense in pieces like this cause those things are no where to be found. These symbols are easy to recognize and represent things that everybody can understand (ie: the purple queen chess piece represents the desire to do what you want and go where you want whenever you want). It was very whimsical drawing this, I felt like I was using fantasy to express something that is very real and easy to relate to.

A Time Never Forgotten

This is THE OLDEST image I still have. It's so OLD that I no longer have to original; I don't even know what I did with the original. However, I was so emotional when I drew it that I remember where I was when I drew it; I didn't want to finish it because it would feel like I was letting it go. I look at it and remember how I felt the combination of heartbreak and hope and how my emotions created something so detailed. I remember how people actually though the drawing of the lilies was a magazine cutout (I don't really know if that's a compliment or not). I worked tirelessly on it, and it was the truest labor of love. It's rare for an artist to look back on past work and not shudder in disgust, but as a 21 year old looking back on the work she did at 17, it's really not that bad. I was feeling so much at that time and I felt that this was the culmination of all that; looking at it now there's still an aura around it... something that keeps it alive after all these years. It still has the same aching power that it did then.

Who is SUGA CANE?

A killer, simply put. Suga Cane was a character I developed when I was in high school in order to channel my anger. She is an extremely violent, sociopath with multiple personality disorder who makes a shit ton of money moonlighting as an assassin. By day she's a relatively docile person however. In a way, Suga Cane saved my life; I was able to be her in order to get my anger out while not actually engaging in her behavior. These are the only images I have of her from high school, and the only ones that aren't terribly violent and grotuitous. It's too bad I don't have any of the REALLY old images of her, she used to look like a walking candy store. Maybe one day I'll draw a Suga Cane time line, she's gone through so many stages and hair colors it's hard to imagine.

The most dangerous woman in the world, Suga Cane's favorite weapon is a curved, rose pink shirasaysa emblazoned with peach blossoms (since her symbol is the peach, which to me looks like a heart, which is her other symbol). How many people can say know of a character who can disembowel someone with a flowery pink sword. There were plenty other characters within this story, most of the story was suppose to be a sick, psychosexual, ultra violent reflection on my high school experience. I think one day I'll pick it back up again.

There are also some pics of Suga Cane that are not so work HERE and HERE

Lizzie Borden's Bakery

It's 5am and I'm very tired. The only reason I'm not asleep is because I had to finish this one. I have to say I wasn't as excited about this one as I was when I first started it. Mostly, I just really wanted to draw a red velvet cake after I had the one my dad made for Thanksgiving (needless to say drawing the cake was the most fun). After that I kind of lost my enthusiasm. But I decided to pull through, out of the 3 pieces I'd been working on this weekend this is the one I wanted to finish the least. I have to say, I'm not a fan of it. I like some parts of it, but as a whole it's not my best work; I'm my own worst critic. It is, however, simple and to the point, which meant that it didn't take too long to finish... minus the delay due to lack of motivation.

When I was in middle school I was obsessed with the Lizzie Borden jump rope rhyme.

"Lizzie Borden, with an ax, gave her mother 40 wax.
When she saw what she had done
She gave her father 41"

Sick, right? It says it all right there. And though Lizzie Borden was never convicted and the murders of her father and step mother were never solved, I'm pretty sure she did it.

It also doesn't help that I thought of this while enjoying Thanksgiving dinner with my father and stepmother (who I love dearly, don't get it twisted). I just thought it was kind of a funny coincidence. But anyway, here's to hoping my father and step mother never see this image, and if they do I hope they find the irony just as funny as I do. They both have a good sense of humor.